8:26 PM: The lecture is over, and Dr. Ruth is met with loads of applause. "What a good audience!"
8:26 PM: 22nd question, "How do you make the man last longer?" Dr. Ruth says, "Go see a therapist." She relates that a lot of it has to do with the brain. The brain is the master sex organ.
8:25 PM: 21st question, "How do I have good sex, and what is good foreplay?" Dr. Ruth says, "It really does depend on the man or woman."
8:24 PM: 20th question, "Is it better to stimulate the G spot with the penis or the fingers?" Dr. Ruth says, "If the G spot exists..."
8:23 PM: 19th question, "What are the precautions of anal sex? Is it too much anal sex bad for your health?" Dr. Ruth says, "You have to lose a lubricant...I can never say how often."
8:22 PM: 18th question, "Is it possible for a man to ejaculate without having an orgasm?" Dr. Ruth says simply, "I don't know."
8:21 PM: 17th question, really long question about new relationships and blood tests. Dr. Ruth says, "I would tell that person to go to the doctor. There must be a reason why that question is on somebody's mind."
8:20 PM: 16th question, something about kinkiness.
8:19 PM: 15th question, "Why do I leak urine when I have sex?" Dr. Ruth says, "Go see a urologist."
8:18 PM: 14th question, "Is it bad to be a 20 year old virgin?" Dr. Ruth says, "Absolutely not!...but that doesn't mean they shouldn't be sexually literate."
8:16 PM: 13th question, "How come I can have an orgasm on my own, but not with a man." Dr. Ruth says, "Some women worry that they will lose a few droplets of urine. I say put a towel...but if not, I want to talk with her." She related that there could be other problems.
8:15 PM: 12th question, "Do guys prefer their women shaved or not?" Dr. Ruth says, "I really have no opinion on it. If the couple loves each other...and if she likes her and she likes him, then I say, 'Have a good time.'"
8:14 PM: 11th question, "Do you believe masturbation is a good stress reliever? Why or why not?" Dr. Ruth says, "Yes. If someone doesn't have a partner, it's perfectly ok...it's very important for women not to get used to a vibrator...the penis cannot replicate the vibrations of the vibrator."
8:13 PM: 10th question, "After two years of sex, why does it still hurt?" Dr. Ruth says, "Go see a health professional."
8:12 PM: Ninth question, "Is it possible to have too much sex?" Dr. Ruth says, "If you are not doing your homework." Laughter. "There used to be a rule that sports team should have not sex the night before. That's nonsense. If he engages in a quickie, and goes to sleep, it's ok. But if he goes to a bar, and waits eight hours, and maybe gets lucky. He probably won't be able to play football."
8:11 PM: Eighth question, "If a girl watches lesbian porn, but has a boyfriend, is she psuedo-gay?" Dr. Ruth says, "I can never answer that. A man can watch two men, but not be gay."
8:10 PM: Seventh question, "Is it healthy to share sexual fantasies with your partner?" Dr. Ruth says, "The other person really has to want to hear about those fantasies."
8:09 PM: Sixth question, "How can women over 40 raise their libido since men are always complaining?" Prime advice, "Go see a sexual counselor...I learn a great deal that other things might be happening there."
8:08 PM: Fifth question, "How does a girl have an orgams during sex?" Dr. Ruth says, "Blood flows into the clitoris, and if properly stimulated, the woman has an orgasm...she has to give herself permission to be sexually satisfied."
8:07 PM: Fourth question, "I'm always making excuses to not have sex. How can I make myself more interested?" Dr. Ruth says, "I need an hour with this person. Is it a bad experience...are you not sure you want to be with this person?"
8:03 PM: Third question, "How important is varying sexual practices in a relationship?" Dr. Ruth says, "Varying positions is as important as not staying bored with each other...it's not only the sexual activity that has to be varied, but their interest in each other. Variety is very important." She mentions the Joy of Sex. "Let's suppose she wants to have more sexual activity than him. I say to him, you don't need an erection for that. You can give her a vibrator...don't get used to vibrators, the male penis cannot replicate the vibrations."
8:01 PM: "What I'm worried about, in our malls, young people walk around half naked. I say to parents, 'You have to say no.' I want to hear more about sexual harassment. It is sexually arousing. I don't want to hear more about problems. In our culture, when young people start secondary sex characteristics, parents should not walk around naked." Same with kids!
8:00 PM: Second question, "Tantric sex?" Dr. Ruth says, "I am not an expert. In tantric sex, there is a description that men are able to train themselves not to ejaculate, but to have retrograde ejaculation...they bring themselves to the point of almost ejaculating, but having the fluid not come out, but become retrograde...become stronger...that's nonsense."
7:55 PM: First question, "How do you not let your weight affect your confidence while having sex?" Dr. Ruth says, "If somebody is short like me, I say short people make the best lovers...it does depend on the image the person has of him or herself...I say if you are going to concentrate on 'I have a belly' or 'I have heavy thighs'...it will be very hard to have an orgasm...if they're going to concentrate on the body image of the other they don't like, they're going to have problems...I'm all for people using fantasies...I'm also for people keeping their mouth shut...I also don't want her to say, 'My last lover had a bigger penis than you.' His penis is going to shrivel up. Penis size has nothing to do with the sexual satisfaction of a woman. The vagina can accomodate penises of all size."
7:54 PM: "It's very nice to be a sex therapist."
7:53 PM: "Sex is certainly the most interesting subject matter."
7:52 PM: "I have women walk into my office saying she and her husband have tried for four months to find the G spot, and they think she is not normal."
7:51 PM: "We have to be very careful...I've always been asked about the G-spot...they say that inside the vagina...if properly stimulated, will bring about fantastic orgasms...multiple orgasms...even female ejaculation."
7:50 PM: "The book is called Top 10 Secrets for Great Sex. On the Today Show, I said to her, 'Look at what a stupid title. What secrets? I don't have any secrets!'"
7:49 PM: "This book (Sex for Dummies) is out in 28 different languages. I did not want to do it."
7:48 PM: "I told you sex sells. 11 years ago, they wanted me to do the book Sex for Dummies...I said, 'No! I go to universities and talk. I don't talk to dummies!'"
7:47 PM: She related a story about a woman who liked to toss onion rings on her partner's erect penis.
7:46 PM: "Programs like this create a community of resonance."
7:44 PM: "I told Johnny Carson, 'Mr. Carson, you are responsible for couples not having sex.' He asks, 'Me?! Why?!' 'Because they stay up late to watch you, and then they are too tired!'"
7:43 PM: "A man can learn to bring himself to an erection...before the point of no return, can say, 'Stop'...lose part of the erection...so that his brain learns that he will ejaculate when he wants to."
7:42 PM: "I believe that a sexually literate couple can be sexually active to the age of 99."
7:41 PM: "A psychogenic erection is an erection that a man has when he wants to have an erection to have sex."
7:40 PM: "If I detect that women is alcoholic or depressed, I will not give her a second appointment with me. I will tell her to go to Alcoholic's Anonymous...I cannot work with a woman who is alcoholic or depressed."
7:38 PM: "5% of women can sit in an auditorium like this, tighten the upper thighs, have some erotic thoughts, and have an orgasm right here."
7:36 PM: "Women love to be caressed after an orgasm. I will tell men to take a pin to bed, not touch their penis with it, but prick himself so that he will sit up in bed and caress his wife."
7:35 PM: Dr. Ruth relates that a man who is troubled by external factors will not get an erection, and that during later sexual encounters, if he has thoughts about that past failure, he is sure to not get an erection.
7:34 PM: "What we do know is that male sexual apparatus is very delicate."
7:33 PM: "A premature ejaculator is a man who ejaculates faster than he wants to...they used to say that this is a man who dislikes women...who goes wang bang thank you ma'am."
7:31 PM: She tells a parable of a man who takes Viagra to have an erection, and he goes home and tells his wife to "hop into bed." However, he hasn't done the dishes, got her flowers for Valentine's Day, etc. "The wife will tell him what he can do with his erection."
7:30 PM: She spoke of a program where she trained and researched. "Across this country of ours, there are less women who don't have orgasms because of talks like ours...because somehow that message is out there that a woman is responsible for her orgasm...for example, we know that for the curve of sexual arousal for women is slower than for men...if we don't teach women to stay with it...she's not going to have it."
7:26 PM: "We have the best (data/research). Kinsey had the best questionnaire, survey...we need a new study because 50 years (since) is too long...there are more ways that have changed...in the climate of today, I don't think it's around the corner, but we need a new study...Masters and Johnson observed 1,500 sexual episodes...cameras recording...people watching...who is willing to perform the sex act in a laboratory setting...medical students need money, nursing students needed money, social work people needed money, prostitutes needed money...I'm not involved in these studies."
7:25 PM: "The other issue is sexually transmitted diseases...any sexually active couple has to be careful...in New York City, we have sex clubs springing up...indiscriminate sexual activity...especially, probably the disease of AIDS...in the relationship, both have to know what they are doing, and be careful."
7:24 PM: "The other issue is of homosexuality...we still don't know the etiology, the reason for, of homosexuality...or of heterosexuality...when a homosexual couple walks into my office with a relationship problem...or sexual problem...I will treat that couple with the same respect as anybody else...respect has to be given to any human being."
7:23 PM: "I will put issues on the table that are very controversial. You have to stand up and be confident. From where I stand, I would be very sad if abortion were illegal, not as a contraceptive...in my way of thinking, if they need an abortion, they should have it...I would be very sad if we have to go back to those years...before 1975...only women with money were able to find abortion...they could fly to Mexico or Europe."
7:22 PM: "I am not a medical doctor. I will tell you to go to a clinic, a gynecologist..."
7:21 PM: "The rate of unintended pregnancies has been reduced...not enough."
7:20 PM: "Talk about these issues in the proper frame of reference...Hopefully, they (grandparents) still do it...they can be sexually active to the age of 99."
7:17 PM: She tells a parable of a Victorian mother who told her daughter to "lie back and think of England. There's nothing in it for you. Do not expect the Earth to shake. Do not expect orgasms." "Very often, I'm asked about...the toddler who sits in front of the tv and touches down there...now I'm old fashioned and a square, I've always been old fashioned and a square...but don't get the whole family together...but this (masturbation) is something to be done in the privacy of the home or bathroom...but has tremendous implications. We are fed very many myths about masturbation. There's a myth that says women don't masturbate...that if you masturbate you will need to wear glasses...a particular American myth...hair will grow in the palm of their hands...you are very disciplined...many professors at other universities looked at the palm of their hands."
7:15 PM: "I did television on Lifetime...I'm very pleased to actually be able to teach and continue doing some therapy. You can never do therapy on the air, only in an office...I have to tell you that sex sells."
7:13 PM: "Let's talk about some recent trends, and some things that are not so new...I'll take questions from cards and the floor...You can say, 'A friend of mine'...Professors, you can say, 'A student of mine'...and students, you can say, 'A professor of mine.'"
7:12 PM: Dr. Ruth takes her place at the podium. "I did teach here when I was at Brooklyn College...but I have never seen at this magnificent building of yours."
7:11 PM: She is currently teaching at Yale and Princeton, and taught at Adelphi for two semesters. She is also the author of 35 books.
7:10 PM: Dr. Ruth was born in Germany in 1928 and migrated to Switzerland at age 8 to escape the Holocaust. This was noted among other biographical facts by the student who is introducing Dr. Ruth.
7:07 PM: Index cards are being collected. Dr. Ruth asked that all attending write down a question for the Q & A session at the end of the lecture.
7:06 PM: People migrate towards the front of the Concert Hall for optimal hearing.
7:03 PM: Dr. Ruth says, "Whoever wants good sex for the rest of their lives, move down here." She indicated the closest seats to the stage.
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